


A Little Bit of Jealousy

by The_Ghost_King



Series: Haikyuu!! Rarepairweek 2021 [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (duh), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Character Study, Childhood Friends, Communication, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, HQ Rarepair Week, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Multi, OT4, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28579725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Ghost_King/pseuds/The_Ghost_King
Summary: Tooru is just a little jealous of his boyfriends. It spirals.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Iwaizumi Hajime, Hanamaki Takahiro/Iwaizumi Hajime/Matsukawa Issei/Oikawa Tooru, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Hanamaki Takahiro/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Matsukawa Issei/Oikawa Tooru
Series: Haikyuu!! Rarepairweek 2021 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2090403
Comments: 2
Kudos: 156





	A Little Bit of Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> For HQ Rare pair week Day 5 with the Prompt: Jealousy.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Every single thing I've written for this week so far has been angsty, I truly hope I'll be able to break this streak

The feeling creeps up on Tooru on the bus ride home from the Spring Inter-High.

It’s an uncomfortable and angry—almost vicious—churning in his gut that creeps up on him when he turns his head to the side and catches Iwa-chan and Mattsun asleep on each other in the seats across the aisle. 

Iwa-chan’s head on Mattsun’s shoulder, their bodies pressed close together, the perfect picture of sleepy and comfortable lovers. If he tilts his head and leans forward a little he can see their hands, hanging off the edge of the seats, fingers intertwined.

The churning becomes more pronounced as his eyes trail their fingers. Interlocked, grip tight even though they’re both asleep like they can’t bear to let go of each other.

The longer he stares—traces their hands and their bodies with his eyes, taking in every last bit of intimacy—the more upset he becomes.

It doesn’t even make any  _ sense _ . 

Contrary to popular belief he isn’t the jealous type, he’s secure in his relationship. 

Yes, Iwa-chan and Mattsun are dating but they’re also dating him and Makki—who is currently asleep on Tooru’s shoulder, warm breath grazing his neck.

This shouldn’t be an issue. Nothing’s stopping Tooru from spending time with any of his boyfriends, nothing is stopping him from demanding cuddles the second they’re back home, nothing is stopping him from holding Iwa-chan’s or Mattsun’s hand and falling asleep on them.

Beyond that, Makki is right next to him. Tooru’s got someone to cuddle, he’s got someone to cuddle up against and whose hand fits perfectly in his own.

The churning in his gut, persistent and inescapable, just  _ doesn’t make sense _ .

He loves all his boyfriends equally, has loved them equally since they got together in the last weeks of their first year, and he’s never experienced this creeping ugliness until now. He’s just thought about it, the dark waters of jealousy, but it has never claimed him before.

He doesn’t know what to do with himself, doesn’t know how to explain what he’s feeling as anything but an unnatural emotion brought on by their recent loss to Karasuno. Nothing else makes sense, only the lingering taste of defeat—heavy and bile-inducing—on his tongue could produce something equally ugly in his stomach. Something so terrible it would show itself at the sight of the people he loves most comfortable and happy.

He shakes his head, dispelling his negative spiral and turns away from the isle to face Makki instead. 

He rests his cheek atop Makki’s head and lets out a slow breath as he closes his eyes.

A good nap will make him forget any and all negativity, it has to.

* * *

He’d been worried about jealousy when the four of them first got together.

Worried about the storm of terrible emotions that drives many fresh  _ monogamous _ couples apart, and he’d imagined that with four people in a relationship the jealousy would swallow them whole, without even giving them a fighting chance.

Thinking of the scenarios late at night had been easy too, he’d already been so anxious at fifteen. Desperate to prove the world wrong about him, desperate to become the best. 

Worrying about jealousy seemed to come with the territory of being Oikawa Tooru.

He and Iwa-chan have been a matched set since they were born, Makki and Mattsun were much the same. They were two pairs trying to become a whole and it’d been easy to imagine all the places where unease could creep in.

Tooru imagined that they’d feel strange about spending less time with their childhood best friend. They would feel uncomfortable with the idea of sharing the person who’d always kind of been ‘theirs’ before. They’d feel left behind by the relationship developing right in front of their eyes and would want to break it off to have their favourite person back once they realised all of it was too much.

The idea of  _ them _ , the four of them, was too much.

The scenarios hadn’t left him alone.

He’d crawl into bed each night knowing he wouldn’t get a wink of sleep.

Of course Iwa-chan, Mattsun and Makki had noticed. They’d tried to talk to him, tried to ask him what’s wrong and communicate with him.

They involved him in their conversations and made their care unavoidable, there for anyone to see.

It should’ve been reassuring but all it did was make Tooru crawl further into his shell.

Their concern regarding his behaviour had taken to number one spot on the list of reasons why their relationship wouldn’t work out. He couldn’t remove the thought from his head no matter how hard he tried and his brain ran with it.

The scenario was the same every time.

After practice the four of them would normally continue hanging out in the gym. Working on their receives and their combinations. Getting in that little extra bit of practice just so they might be picked for the starting line-up.

In the scenario Tooru always knew something was wrong but pretended not to notice, ignorantly babbling this or that as he went to grab the ball cart.

It’d be Iwa-chan who grabbed his wrist and stopped him in his tracks. Looking him straight in the eyes as he said, “ _ Tooru _ , we need the talk.”

In his imagined scenarios this would be the tipping point, the point of no return.

Logically Tooru knew, even then when the fear of what seemed like their inevitable break-up was an all-consuming monster in his head, that none of his boyfriends would ever act like this.

Never would they all team-up against him, and tell him he was the reason their relationship would never work out.

Never would Makki say, “I  _ despise _ seeing you with Mattsun and I want you to keep your hands off of him.”

Never would Mattsun say, “I thought I liked you but now that we’re dating I realise it was really just a figment of my imagination. You  _ disgust _ me, and I hate being around you.”

Never, not in a million years, would Iwa-chan say, “I  _ hate _ you. I wish I never met you, I wish one partner could just be enough for you and that you don’t need your already inflated ego stroked by having three. Grow up.”

None of them would ever say that. These are words they would never even  _ think _ , that wouldn’t come out of their mouths even in the most heated of arguments and yet they played in Tooru’s head every night those first months for hours on end.

Became so vivid they super-imposed themselves over his real boyfriends and he’d stiffen whenever they spoke to him. Flinching back when Iwa-chan took a step towards him, coming to a halt whenever it looked like either Makki or Mattsun wanted to say something to him.

He avoided them, crawled further into his shell and cried himself to sleep every night as the horrendous thoughts failed to leave him alone.

What was worse about that period in time, in his current opinion, wasn’t the lack of sleep or his deteriorating mental health. Those were by-products and would be happening either way, he could live with them.

No. What really bothers him thinking back on those moments is the fact that his mind conjured it up in the first place.

It always fills him with anger to think that his head would come up with scenarios where his boyfriends, where Takahiro, Issei and Hajime, would express themselves in such a way.

His boyfriends are the most loving and caring people he knows. They’re almost embarrassingly supportive, sickeningly sweet and much more affectionate than people might imagine.

They  _ love _ him and they’ve never made him doubt that, never given him a reason to doubt that, and yet his mind had the audacity to twist their feelings into something ugly. Into something  _ cruel _ .

He’s most upset at himself from back then for letting the lies pre-occupy him. For letting them poison his mind against those who love him till he questioned their every action and distrusted their every word.

He’d been so sick of himself. Sick of this imagined jealousy he saw brewing between them and that he felt he had to protect himself from.

It’d all culminated in something strangely similar to his horror scenario.

It’d been after practice, Tooru’d been on his way to get the ball cart, Mattsun grabbed his wrist, stopping him in his tracks and said, “We need to talk”.

Tooru’d frozen in his hold but he’d let Mattsun drag him along, looking at his feet as he followed him, meek.

When they stopped in front of Makki and Iwa-chan he was expecting the onslaught, was expecting the cruelty, so sleep-addled and overtaken by negative thoughts he figured it was time.

They were breaking up with him.

This is where the resemblance to his horror scenarios ended.

He’d been enveloped in a hug. Iwa-chan’s familiar arms being the first to wrap themselves around him, his hands messing up Tooru’s hair as Makki and Mattsun joined in, wrapping him up in their arms and ruffling his hair too.

“ _ Talk to us _ ,” Makki’d said, a little desperate, a lot devastated and well, even though he’d been devising elaborate break-up sequences for nights Tooru still loved them and he never wanted Makki to use that tone of voice again.

He spilt every single one of his worries. The scenarios, the sleepless nights, all the reasons behind his avoidance and withdrawal. Finishing it off with the big culprit that had made him worry in the first place.

Jealousy. 

The idea of jealousy tearing them apart.

He’d stood there then, in the gym, wrapped up in their arms, trembling. Tears running uncontrollably down his cheeks, waiting for judgement.

Waiting for his own idiocy to cost him the relationship he’d been so excited about not too long ago.

That’s not what had happened though.

His worst-case scenarios had been obliterated by three different voices, that he’d come to love with all his heart, talking about why they’d never leave. Why they loved him, loved  _ each other _ and wanted to stay together through everything.

“Jealousy will never tear us apart, Tooru,” Hajime had uttered, right next to his ear, softer than a whisper.

* * *

Jealousy hadn’t been a problem in their relationship after that short yet intense stint.

They were secure in their relationship. Secure in their love for one another. Secure that there was nothing for them to be jealous over and it lulled Tooru into security. Lulled him into warm comfort with every happy day that passed.

There were fleeting conflicts but nothing a good talk couldn’t fix and now he’s ruined it.

Ruined it with some stupid jealousy popping up when he’s half-asleep on a bus ride.

Tooru wants to keep it to himself. Wants to let the feeling rest so he can examine it later, and pretend everything’s fine. 

Mattsun sees right through him the second he lays his eyes on him, as do Iwa-chan and Makki.

They invite themselves over to his house, get comfortable in his room and wait, a silent question on all their faces.

Tooru’s embarrassed that they’ve seen through him so easily but it also warms his heart that they know him so well, that it takes less than a glance for all three of them to know that something’s up.

There’s no point in hiding anything anymore. He’s going to be with them— _ wants _ to be with them—for the rest of his life.

“I just got a little jealous on the bus, is all,” he says quickly, like ripping off a band-aid. The ridiculousness of his own emotions is crystal clear to him, yet he hadn’t been able to suppress it.

“I was just tired and like staring at Mattsun and Iwa-chan and got a little upset over nothing, don’t worry about it,” he continues, digging himself further into his stupid jealous hole.

Makki is the first to start laughing, Iwa-chan and Mattsun following right behind.

“That’s what you were worried about?” Makki says once he’s calmed down a little, “we all know you’re needy as fuck Tooru, did you really expect us to be weirded out by this?”

Tooru squawks, but soon succumbs to laughter as well.

Now that the tension is broken, they swarm him, piling their bodies on top of his and peppering his face and neck with kisses.

“For our neediest boyfriend,” Iwa-chan whispers as he bites Tooru’s earlobe and whatever tension was brought up by his earlier thoughts dissipates.

Defeated in the face of love.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, and if you want you can always hit me up on my freshly minted Twitter: [ @The_Gh0st_King](https://twitter.com/The_Gh0st_King) to see what I'm up to in terms of fanfic stuff.
> 
> Stay healthy, stay safe and maybe leave a comment, cya!


End file.
